Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry F*ckin Christmas...

Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Art Moreno, the owner of the Angels, and Tony Reagins, the G.M., right here tonight. I want them brought from their happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want them brought right here, with big ribbons on their heads, and I want to look them straight in the eyes and I want to tell them what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sacks of monkey shit they are! Hallelujah!! Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

UPDATE: Operation Jeepers Creepers

The grill, radiator, and air conditioner condenser are all removed and a new belt was put into place.

Deconstruction is now complete!! This is the new grill in place. No your eye's do not deceive you, the grill is black. This is just the primer coat and it still needs to be painted.

Monday, November 24, 2008

B.P. at The Big 'A'!

Took a little batting practice this past weekend at Angel Stadium. I decided that the shoulders were up to it, and I had 20 bucks in my pocket to donate to The Harvest Food Bank. It is a great, but weird feeling, to be once again standing in the very same batters box that so many greats and childhood heroes have stood before I got in there and hacked it up. Just to look out into the batters eye in deep center, look down the lines and see what the pros see as they are batting, just awesome. This was the third time I have had the privilege of hitting in Angel Stadium. First time I was in High School during the CIF Championship game (we wont discuss that any further), two years ago during the same charity event, and this year. It is a special feeling, one I hope that I can start making a tradition to get the guys together, have a little baseball in the fall, and help donate some cash or food to a good cause at the same time.

Sunday, November 16, 2008


Deconstruction has once again commenced on project "Jeepers Creepers". I had some friends over and we got the fender and parts of the front off. It feels good to work with the hands and get a little dirt under the fingernails. Hopefully over my vacation from work I can get a lot done, enough to notice anyway. More updates to come from the comeback trail.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Prop. 25

I walked into Rite-Aid yesterday and there is Christmas stuff up, Jen text me last week and said that South Coast Plaza had all their Christmas decorations up, I see Christmas themed commercials on TV... I still have candy in a dish next to my front door!! STOP IT!!
Pretty soon there will be holiday ads running right after my grill cools down from 4th of July hotdogs. Look, not to be a Scrooge, but I plan on writing a proposition where there can be no mention of Christmas until at least a week before Thanksgiving.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

My World Series Connection...

I was pleased to see that the Phillies and the Rays made it to the World Series. In the absence of my beloved Angels, I for sure did not want to see the Dodgers, who I don't know how for the life of me beat the Cubs in the best of 5 series, or the Red Sox, who most of their fans are pompous "I earned the right to be a dick because my team sucked balls for just shy of a century but now they are good." assholes, in The Series.

With that aside, my connection is in full swing in this World Series. The Phillies are sporting a talented (the best in the game right now?) 2nd baseman that goes by the name Chase Utley who is a former L.B. Poly, Moore Leaguer who in his last year at Poly happened to hit a ball past yours truly that to this day I don't know if it went to the left of me, to the right of me, or between my legs, that is to say he hit it so hard I never saw it, and I think I am thankful that I didn't. No man should need to stare down death on a ball field.

The Rays have a 3rd baseman named Evan Longoria who played 3rd base for Long Beach State and they play their home games at Blair Field where I work. I wish I could say that this guy was as cool as some of the others I have met (Troy Tulowitzki, Jered Weaver, ect) working the field. He never had anything positive to say about the condition of his side of the field, ever. It was always, "too dry, too wet, to soft, to hard". We always try to accommodate, just don't come at the field crew like that. I do wish him luck, but I will not be rooting for him.

My picks:
Heart: Phillies
Head: Rays

Monday, October 6, 2008

And the "Dumbfuck Move of The Month" goes too...

"I couldn't believe it...I actually got my head this far up my ass! I mean, how else could I explain trying to squeeze with our fastest guy 90 feet away from scoring the go ahead run in the top of the 9th with only one out in a tie game that we have to win? 77 could score on any of a hundred combinations, ground ball right side, fly ball, fielders choice, booted ground ball, pitch in the dirt, on and on I could go....fuck me, I'm stupid."

Tuesday, September 30, 2008


So, this happened...and on the way, unbeknown to me, to my surprise birthday party. I don't know if everyone is aware of my feelings for this vehicle. It is my first one that I have ever bought without help from anyone. It is mine. Have you ever put on a pair of shoes that just felt perfect? Or sat in a big leather chair you just melted into? It was like slipping my hand into my old baseball glove, just perfect. Or for you ladies, like walking by something and seeing it in the window and knew you had to have it. That was the feeling I had when I sat in this Jeep for the first time. I just felt good. Top of the world. The best thing is, now I have an excuse to build it up! *wink!*

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Coldcase Evidence?

One night my good friend John woke to the gut wrenching cries of Mr. Frodo, one of his cats, laying in a back alley of his apartment building after apparently falling out of the second story window. Until now it was believed to be either a) a horrible accident, or b) a suicide attempt.

Yes, we all know Mr. Frodo has a drinking problem:
And is known to beat on his live in girlfriend from time to time:
As a direct effect from the partying and long time alcohol abuse it could be determined that Mr. Frodo could have fallen out of that window after drinking heavily and he had a dispute with his girlfriend hours before. This was the accepted situation of events until I was digging through old photos and found this little gem:
This photo was taken 2 nights before the accident, and it is no secret that Joe dose not like Johns cats. From this photo it looks like Joe is sizing up the window, the window sill, and the back alley, and right in front of Mr. Frodo's father.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Joe Jost's and The F*ckin' Frenchman

I get a call on Saturday morning from my bank (Thanks Washington Mutual!) that someone has tried to withdraw $470.17 from my checking. They ask if I had attempted this transaction and if I didn't, I need to freeze the account. I freeze the account.

I try to call the debit card fraud hot line and get no response after "Waiting for the next available associate to assist me..."on hold for almost 2 hours. I finally hang up and decide to go to my local branch and see what I can do in person. It is 1:45pm and WaMu shuts the doors at 1:00pm.

Now I am going somewhat crazy because I don't know what is going on and I'm thinking about all the money I have in my savings saved up for the wedding and how horrible that would be to lose all my coin.

I do nothing on Sunday...if they are not going to answer on Saturday, why try?

Monday after noon I revisit the hot line and get an associate after being on hold for about 2 minutes. He says someone in Paris, France has tried to access my account from an ATM there but didn't get the money because the computer at WaMu H.Q. detected that I had accessed my account at Joe Jost's here in Long Beach 8 hours earlier. The computer put 2 and 2 together, figured that I can't get from Long Beach to Paris in 8 hours, freezes the account and the Frenchman doesn't get shit!

Joe Jost's, cold beer, great sandwiches, they protect your money, and fight with you against the French! That's not on the menu, but should be.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Funny Joke I Heard Today...

A father happens to go into his son's room and finds him masturbating. The father yells at the shocked kid, "Hey! Quit doin' that or you'll go blind one day!"
The kid replied, "Hey Dad, I'm over here."

Sunday, August 31, 2008

8 Months Away, Kids!!

My Ladyfriend and I took our engagement photos the other night, this was the best one.

Sunday, August 24, 2008


I realized that I had not posted in almost a month and my boy John had called me out with his post. I'm guessing I need to write down 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 current obsessions/collections, and 3 surprising facts about myself... let’s get to it!

3 Joys:

1. Backyard BBQ's. There is something to say about sitting outside eating a meal and having a beer. Steak, chicken, fish, or just burgers and dogs, you can't beat a meal where the sun is shining, friends and family are all around, and good food hot off the grill.

2. Naps. I love a good nap. I wish I lived in a country that shut down and took nationwide naptime.

3. Day (baseball) games. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I can't explain it to you. It is the best way to watch a ball game, period.

3 Fears:

1. That someday I won't be able to provide for my family. This has to be my big one. My father told me once that whatever I did in life when I have a family of my own I need to do whatever it takes to provide for them. This scares the hell out of me because I will be 30 in just over a month and I can hardly keep my own damn head above water.

2. Not having children. I guess this could take care of the first fear, but I have never had children before and I for sure want little one's of my own. I guess the fear comes from either my future wife or I, not being able to physically do so.

3. Not finishing my education. I have just over a year and a half left...but it seems like I have been saying that "I have a year and a half left" for a year and a half.

3 Current Obsessions/Collections:

1. One obsession lately is golf. I have been out on the course at least once a week since going on summer break. I love it. I found out that I play much better in sandals or bare feet. It is my kind of game. It is like taking a drive in a park with your buddies and you get to have a few beers too.

2. Going to the beach, also a summer time obsession. I started hanging out with a teacher from work that is a surfer. We go once or twice a week and spend the morning out in the waves. It takes me back to my days as a youngster going to Huntington Cliffs with the guys and boogie boarding.

3. And like my friend John, I have wedding plans all over the brain, April 4th, Kids!

3 Surprising Facts:

1. I have always wanted to learn how to fly. Airplane or Helicopter, dosn't matter.

2. I could get on base against Franky Rodriguez (or hit .210 in the show) anytime I wanted too.

3. I too can't believe John's face sweats when he eats apples...W.T.F.???

Tuesday, June 10, 2008


Look, I know times are a little tough...but hey news flash, IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!! I'M IN IT WITH YOU, PAL!!! I walked out to my Jeep that I parked in a shopping mall lot and discovered some Dirty Rat Motherfuckin' Cock-Sucker had siphoned a full tank of gas out of it that I filled up not 3 hours before! OH, how I WISH that I would have caught this asshole doing his deed. I would have been in jail, but with a huge smile on my face. $70 gone just like that.
May you burn in the depths of Hell...and I'm there to dump a tank of gas on you to get things started.
Sorry for the foul language.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Where To Start

Its been awhile...almost 2 months since the last post! I don't know where to begin. I guess wedding news is a good spot to get back into the swing of things.

UPDATE: The Lady friend and I have secured airline tickets for our honeymoon in Europe, North Europe to be exact. We are leaving the Monday after the wedding and we will be gone for 2 weeks backpacking through England, Ireland, The Netherlands and possibly France and Germany. I personally have never done anything like this but I cant wait to do it. I just hope the dollar dose a little rebounding before the trip or I might just end up getting a job there and never come back. Also John brought up a time where he said that I said I would never go to Europe because everything I wanted to see or needed to for that fact was right here in the good ol' U.S.A. I dont remember saying it but it dose sound like something I would have said sometime ago in younger years.

UPDATE: Tomorrow (6/2) marks a great day in my battle with diabetes. My insurance was gracious enough to approve me for a brand new insulin pump. What this little bugger dose is eliminate the need for injections 4 times a day and I can program it to give me a little bit of insulin every hour. What that dose is limit the spikes and drops in blood sugar that happen when I go a bit too long between meals. There is a lot of technology in this pump and I could talk about it for days but what it comes down to is me having better control and that makes me feel better, be healthier, and live longer.

UPDATE: I joined a softball team. We suck but we have fun. I played in the first game and then jacked up my ankle so I missed the next 2. It feels good to get out and play some ball. I havent been able to throw a ball since I had an episode of frozen shoulder syndrome that has lasted over 2 years. Im getting back to playing some thing that resembles baseball again and I hope that one day soon I can get back on the diamond.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Welcome Back...

It just came to me that I didn't post anything about the start of the greatest season of the year. Enjoy:

Check out some of the other clips after this clip is done...good stuff.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

My Weekend Was A Thing of Beauty...

Here are some of the photos from this past weekend. I tell you one thing, I was looking forward to going to Hearst Castle because I had heard about how beautiful it is but my goodness the surrounding area is what sets it up more then the castle itself. Beautiful country. Here ya go:

Party in Suit 127!

This is the view from our room, beau-ti-ful.

This is a shot standing on the beach looking back at the hills. Someone say Ireland?

We found tide pools (and lunch) Starfish sandwiches...mmm.

This Butt's for you.

This is an old house once belonging to a Captain who sailed the local waters. Now it's a bed and breakfast located in the lovely town of Cayucos, Ca.

A view down the shoreline of Morro Bay from the pier in Cayucos. That big rock sits right in the harbor in Morro, and no, Adam you can't climb it.'s cold.

I could look at a sunset like this for the rest of my days and never get tired of it.

The main "House".

The dining room. Fit for a king.

Nope its not the pool at Caesars, just the main pool at the Castle (1 of 2).

Conrad, they don't like them up here either.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

The King at His Castle

This weekend marks a huge milestone in the relationship column for my special ladyfriend and me. It’s bigger then the weekend we met, bigger then when we moved in together, and even bigger then the day I asked her to be my wife! Yes, after discovering that in the past 4 years of knowing one another we have never been on a weekend trip where it was just to two of us so we got a room at the lovely Sea Breeze Motel and two tickets for the Saturday evening tour at Hearst Castle in beautiful San Simeon, California.

Amazing eh? Not one weekend in over 4 years! I know that with her getting her masters and me back in school, both of us working full time and all, it seems like the only time we have together is on the weekend, and we love just doing nothing with it, but I couldn’t in my right mind let this stand.

I am hoping to start these weekend trips as a staple in our relationship. There is so much to see in this great state of ours and who better to experience it with then my lover? Maybe I'll make an offer on the place since the housing market is in a buyers trend right now.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Hi. My name is...

Toby??? Huh? Who the hell is this? More important, why is this dog in the same living room that the once great Benjamen "a.k.a. Ben, a.k.a. Benny, a.k.a. O.D.B. 'Old Dirty Ben"' Burroughs used as his kingdom? My parents have tarnished the purity of Ben's empire that took him 15 years to conquer by renting it out to "Foster Dog's".
"Foster dog's?" I said with a raised brow.
"Yes, he is a rescue from the pound. He was about to be put to sleep and a neighbor of your aunt saved him. He didn't have a place to stay so we took him until a home opens up for him." my mother says.
"Ha! Fat chance. Just until someone needs a dog...and your just going to give him up? Just like that?"-Me
"...this has something wrong written all over it...So after this one is gone, you get another one?"-Me
"This place has turned into a travesty, it's a sham, and this Toby dog has made a mockery out of Ben's resting place. It's a traveshamockery!"
But, damn he's cute.

Thursday, March 13, 2008


it is a white ball against

a sky so blue it hurts your eyes

it is thick grass, so perfectly green

day fading into evening

as cheers fade to silence

soft moonlight on an empty park

full of promise with morning light

crack of a bat, the graceful arc

flies over the wall

little white thing, focus of all eyes.

it is breathing hard in soft evening air

running the perfect white line

to reach a base

unending promise, untapped possibility

beyond baseball, beyond a game

it is beauty.

- Jewel W.

7:40 I hit the highway in the sky to again start the journey of another year of Angels baseball. If you need me this weekend, I'll be in Tempe, just wait till' Monday.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


I was reminded the other day of my good friend Adam when turning into a parking lot and discovered that indeed I was entering in the exit. While driving home from camping this past winter he told me of a line that Quagmire said from The Family Guy, "Every exit is an entrance! Giggity-Giggity- Goo!"

Friday, February 1, 2008

Jackpot Trail

This coming election we get to vote on one of many props in the great state of California. The four I want to talk about are the California Indian gaming props 94, 95, 96, & 97 that I believe would do our state some good. We all like money and we all know there is plenty of it out there in the gambling/gaming worlds. The state of California has let the gaming industry blossom into a billion dollar cash cow that has put money in the economy, schools, and infrastructure to make this state even more powerful than it has in the past.
Although the damn television commercials come on every single time (how much could they save by not running an ad every 5 seconds throughout the state...on every channel?) there is a break, I can't see the reason someone would not want to vote for it. More money for the state is a good thing right? I know that the casinos will profit from it but that’s what a business should do. Not only will the casinos get more, the surrounding communities that they are in will profit because people come out there and spend not only at the casino, but local shops and restaurants.
There is an opposition to it, and this is the only argument that I have heard from them against it, is one that says these props are unfair to the rest of the tribes in the state because there is nothing in there that says they get a cut of the action. Boo-freakin-who! Hey welcome to America, Pal. You want to start a casino and get yourself a little bit of the cash go ahead. The little guy in the copy business doesn't piss and moan that FedEx Kinkos isn't giving him a cut of their bottom line. I think sometimes this attitude is going to be the downfall of this society, this attitude of "That's not fair, I'm not getting my part handed to me."
Get a job, Bum...and cool it on the commercials.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

And So It Is...

This past weekend my Special Ladyfriend and I found our wedding location, set a date (April 4, 2009), and put the deposit down on our special day. My future Mother-In-law found the place. A wonderful location out in the City of Temecula Ca. called Oak Meadows. It’s a pretty cool place with a lake that has fountains with fire that shoots out and fire pits with patio furniture that surround the dance floor. At night there are literally thousands of Christmas lights that light up everywhere. I guess I can explain it the best by saying if I could throw down $5 million into my 10 acre backyard this is what I would come up with. I am for sure looking forward to this party.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Just did it....

As far as New Year’s resolutions are concerned, I think I just did more harm than good. I just took about 5 years off my life. I just worked out., I wouldn't even call it a workout as far as workouts are concerned, but it is a start. I jogged (or “yogged”) and walked around the neighborhood, I would have to guess a mile or close to it and I would say about half way through my lower back started killin' me! Just walking at a fast pace was hurting it. I know it's just the lack of muscle movement from the previous time that I worked out sometime in the late 90’s, but like I said, it is a start to my New Year’s resolution of dropping 40 pounds off the frame rails…can someone get me a Lipitor or something?

Thursday, January 3, 2008

The Great Escape to No Where

I have to get up for work in 5.5 hours and I don't want too. I want to be doing what I am doing in my Jeep. Heading out on an adventure in 4 wheel drive.