Saturday, July 18, 2009

The 2 Year Ex and A Pack of Ciggys.

My sister has been home for about 2 weeks now. My lovely wife and I, my parents, and my sister all living under 1,700 square feet, not to mention the bedrooms are all on one side of the house so this makes for interesting living sometimes...I digress. My Extra-Special Ladyfriend, my mom, and sister all went out to breakfast one morning and while doing what women do, my mother and wife discovered that my sister and her long time boyfriend had "...broken up 2 years ago."....!!!???

Uh? You still live with the guy? "Yes."
Uh? You still sleep in the same bed? "Yes."
Uh? Do you guys still...ya know? "No. Were just good friends. Besides he has another girlfriend."


I could only imagine my poor mothers heart palpitating out of control and her reaching for her nitro pills to stop the sharp pains in her chest and uncontrollable sweating.

Apparently the new girlfriend wants to invite my sister out with her and my sisters ex to "...get to know each other so that nothing is weird." Yeeeahhh. My wife then suggested to me that maybe my sister is into kinky shit, which made me throw up.


In another story related to my sister, I came home to hear my mother telling my sister, "Well, that is your problem. I will not give you money, drive you to go get them, or support this in anyway. If you want them you need to find a way to get them."

My wife being addicted to the show "Intervention", I thought my sister was on crack or something and was about to blow a gasket. "What the hell is going on?" I asked.
"She wants to go get cigarette's! She smokes, I guess." my mother's reply.
"Uh...what?" I said, intelligently, reaching for my nitro pills.
That's it. I quit.

--Go Halos.