Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Art Moreno, the owner of the Angels, and Tony Reagins, the G.M., right here tonight. I want them brought from their happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want them brought right here, with big ribbons on their heads, and I want to look them straight in the eyes and I want to tell them what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sacks of monkey shit they are! Hallelujah!! Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?
