Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Coldcase Evidence?

One night my good friend John woke to the gut wrenching cries of Mr. Frodo, one of his cats, laying in a back alley of his apartment building after apparently falling out of the second story window. Until now it was believed to be either a) a horrible accident, or b) a suicide attempt.

Yes, we all know Mr. Frodo has a drinking problem:
And is known to beat on his live in girlfriend from time to time:
As a direct effect from the partying and long time alcohol abuse it could be determined that Mr. Frodo could have fallen out of that window after drinking heavily and he had a dispute with his girlfriend hours before. This was the accepted situation of events until I was digging through old photos and found this little gem:
This photo was taken 2 nights before the accident, and it is no secret that Joe dose not like Johns cats. From this photo it looks like Joe is sizing up the window, the window sill, and the back alley, and right in front of Mr. Frodo's father.
Joe?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Joe Jost's and The F*ckin' Frenchman

I get a call on Saturday morning from my bank (Thanks Washington Mutual!) that someone has tried to withdraw $470.17 from my checking. They ask if I had attempted this transaction and if I didn't, I need to freeze the account. I freeze the account.

I try to call the debit card fraud hot line and get no response after "Waiting for the next available associate to assist me..."on hold for almost 2 hours. I finally hang up and decide to go to my local branch and see what I can do in person. It is 1:45pm and WaMu shuts the doors at 1:00pm.

Now I am going somewhat crazy because I don't know what is going on and I'm thinking about all the money I have in my savings saved up for the wedding and how horrible that would be to lose all my coin.

I do nothing on Sunday...if they are not going to answer on Saturday, why try?

Monday after noon I revisit the hot line and get an associate after being on hold for about 2 minutes. He says someone in Paris, France has tried to access my account from an ATM there but didn't get the money because the computer at WaMu H.Q. detected that I had accessed my account at Joe Jost's here in Long Beach 8 hours earlier. The computer put 2 and 2 together, figured that I can't get from Long Beach to Paris in 8 hours, freezes the account and the Frenchman doesn't get shit!

Joe Jost's, cold beer, great sandwiches, they protect your money, and fight with you against the French! That's not on the menu, but should be.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Funny Joke I Heard Today...

A father happens to go into his son's room and finds him masturbating. The father yells at the shocked kid, "Hey! Quit doin' that or you'll go blind one day!"
The kid replied, "Hey Dad, I'm over here."

Sunday, August 31, 2008

8 Months Away, Kids!!


My Ladyfriend and I took our engagement photos the other night, this was the best one.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Tagged!


I realized that I had not posted in almost a month and my boy John had called me out with his post. I'm guessing I need to write down 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 current obsessions/collections, and 3 surprising facts about myself... let’s get to it!

3 Joys:

1. Backyard BBQ's. There is something to say about sitting outside eating a meal and having a beer. Steak, chicken, fish, or just burgers and dogs, you can't beat a meal where the sun is shining, friends and family are all around, and good food hot off the grill.

2. Naps. I love a good nap. I wish I lived in a country that shut down and took nationwide naptime.

3. Day (baseball) games. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I can't explain it to you. It is the best way to watch a ball game, period.

3 Fears:

1. That someday I won't be able to provide for my family. This has to be my big one. My father told me once that whatever I did in life when I have a family of my own I need to do whatever it takes to provide for them. This scares the hell out of me because I will be 30 in just over a month and I can hardly keep my own damn head above water.

2. Not having children. I guess this could take care of the first fear, but I have never had children before and I for sure want little one's of my own. I guess the fear comes from either my future wife or I, not being able to physically do so.

3. Not finishing my education. I have just over a year and a half left...but it seems like I have been saying that "I have a year and a half left" for a year and a half.

3 Current Obsessions/Collections:

1. One obsession lately is golf. I have been out on the course at least once a week since going on summer break. I love it. I found out that I play much better in sandals or bare feet. It is my kind of game. It is like taking a drive in a park with your buddies and you get to have a few beers too.

2. Going to the beach, also a summer time obsession. I started hanging out with a teacher from work that is a surfer. We go once or twice a week and spend the morning out in the waves. It takes me back to my days as a youngster going to Huntington Cliffs with the guys and boogie boarding.

3. And like my friend John, I have wedding plans all over the brain, April 4th, Kids!

3 Surprising Facts:

1. I have always wanted to learn how to fly. Airplane or Helicopter, dosn't matter.

2. I could get on base against Franky Rodriguez (or hit .210 in the show) anytime I wanted too.

3. I too can't believe John's face sweats when he eats apples...W.T.F.???